The Jewish Biologist

Now, I don't know about you, but I enjoy learning new things. It's fun and you say to yourself, "Hey, now I can brag to all my friends about how much crap they don't know about!" Well, let you tell you a little story about my biology teacher. He is a little Jewish man who has a rather jolly and joking temperament and hates all things that breathe his air in his classroom. Or, at least, he must, because he gives everyone who steps foot into the classroom a good life ruining and scrapes your soul away like one would scrape away at some Italian Ice that was just taken out of the freezer. Bit by bit and piece by piece, you are destroyed by his endless power points and onslaught of punchline-less jokes. His love for the endocrine system can only be matched by his love of talking of testosterone and estrogen, and even then he can hardly stand to go a week without reminding us about women's breast and hips enlarging and men growing muscle tissue and all the good things that go on during the magical years of puberty. Give me a break. It's about as wonderful as watching childbirth. And hey, if you enjoy that sort of thing, that's your deal. I don't know about you, but greenish-yellow parasites that emerge from a woman's loins is about as wonderful as watching roadkill earn it's name in slow motion. But back to the Jew. He and his words of encouragement can only be expected to be met by another 12 hours of homework and counting his Jew children, drosophelia (fruit flies). By the time I had finished determining what sex all the flies were that he had slopped upon my petrie dish, I had realized that there was, in fact, no god. There was no way out of staring at these ugly fuckers twitch and lay eggs all over my dish for a good 45 minutes besides death and accepting his heathen ways, and I have too much to live for in the case of option A, and for the latter, well, I just wouldn't be comfortable with that silly hat. Imagine trying to keep it on during the torture in hell! Anywho, nothing against the Jewish race or anything, but your biologists give me nightmares and you need to really make your voices sound less annoying, especially if you will be talking and talking and talking and talking and talking about crap that no one was ever interested in.