Coroline: fan-tastic

Let me tell you, I am not an easily impressed individual. For example, there could be a fire and you could run in and save a baby, but I would merely scoff at your ignorance as the baby would only lead to more competition for food in 2012. You could get yourself a gold star in spelling, you could win a fight, you could even have a baby, but none of these things would greatly impress me like I was when Coroline was finished. Maybe it was the amazing 3-D effects. It also could've been the aborably insane Russian man that lived in the second story and was always obsessing over his jumping mice circus and his beets that he claimed made you strong. (In Soviet Russia, beet eats YOU!) However, I'm pretty sure that it was the magical world that Coroline brought the audience and I into. When her mother moves into a shabby apartment to persue a career of writing for a gardening magazine, Coroline is pushed aside by the nose-to-the-grindstone parents and, as a consequence, stumbels upon a door that leads to a better than perfect world in which her parents have nothing but love and compassion for Coroline. Sounds pretty run of the mill, right? But as you know, the world isn't what it seems and the "other mother" wants Coroline to install some unwanted attachments to her face, which is where it gets pretty fucking crazy, involving in a praying-mantis attack from her "other father" and the "other mother" entraping her in a gigantic spiderweb, but I don't want to ruin this movie for you. Let me just say that it may be one of the best movies that I've seen for awile and will probably be, in my opinion, the best movie to come out this year, and that is something. AND, just for the record, Tim Burton DID NOT direct it, I'm pretty sure that the same animating company did the work on it. But either way, just forget about companies and prices of movies for a little while and PLEASE enjoy the movie to it's full potential and don't go with a biased opinion, no matter how many jack skellington sweaters you see littering the outskirts of the theater. The only greivance I could give about this movie is that there will most likley be those same "non-conformists" in a few weeks, flocking to Hot Topic >:( for their very own Coroline shirts and all that shit, but I am enjoying a fantastic thing before all the hype kicks in and I'm washed away in a wave of rage that will drive me to burn down all the Hot Topics in the area, just for the releiving screams coming from the souls trapped in their pits or pools or urns or whatever Hot Topic keeps their soul collection in.